Stuck, then Star Struck, in Ghana

I’m a huge fan of X-Men. The movies, I mean, not the comic books. Yes, they’ve all got a great plot, neat-o special effects and terrific actors. But Hugh Jackman just makes my blood run hot. Dang, that man is all of that! You better believe that when I saw that X-Men Origins: Wolverine was listed as playing at the Silverbird Theatre in the Accra Mall (the only real movie theatre in all of Ghana, by the way), I was going to be there! And let me tell you how exciting it is to have actual first run movies playing here in Ghana! Oh yes, we can get DVDs of new movies only days after they’re released elsewhere in the world, but they’ve all got Chinese subtitles and the audio never quite meshes with the video. It’s really not the same.

So, the plan was, me and the kiddies would go on Monday to the 10:25 a.m. showing, because it’s least crowded and then afterward we could cruise around the mall a bit. Early (6:45) that morning, hubby called Ekow, our taxi driver, and gave him instructions to pick us up at the house by 9:00 a.m. sharp. A tad on the early side, I know, but you have to give Ghanaian taxi drivers some leeway, because no matter what time you tell them you need them by, they are going to be late.

By 9:00 a.m., we were all packed and ready and my kids were getting antsy. (They love a good movie, too.) Then at 9:15 (note the time well, please) my cell phone rang.

Me: Hello

Ekow: Madam, it’s Ekow. I’m going to be late.

Me: "You're already late" and "What else is new?" were the two responses that immediately came to mind, but I held back. Ekow, where are you now?

Ekow: Well, I had to take a passenger to Legon, so I’m on the Motorway now. I’m about 15 minutes from you.

Me: Where exactly on the Motorway are you?

Ekow: Well, I’m near the roundabout.

Me: Which roundabout?

Ekow: The Tetteh Quarshie roundabout. (Which is the other side of the Motorway, and I’m asking him this because the Accra Mall – which is where we’re headed – is about 200 yards from the Tetteh Quarshie roundabout.)

Me: So have you paid the toll yet?

Ekow: Well, I’m not exactly on the Motorway yet. I’m in Legon on the road to the Motorway.

Me: Oh.

Ekow: There’s a lot of traffic. (Again, so what else is new?) But I’ll be there in 15 minutes. (Only if he's got a helicopter. Legon is about 35 minutes away from us in zero traffic, so I don’t think so.)

Me: Ekow, forget about picking us up. We had a specific time that we had to be at the Accra Mall and you will not be able to get here in time. Just pull into the mall parking lot and wait for us.

======================

Yeah, I know, I could have waited for him, and we could have gone to a later showing, but really, I am so sick and tired of disappointing the kids because of someone else's indifference. So, we rushed out of the house and flagged down a taxi. Of course, that wasn’t difficult because as soon as we stepped through the gate, taxi drivers started honking their horn (“Oh look, a rich obroni! Beep! Beep! Beep!”). The lucky taxi driver tells me it will be GHC 12 to take us to the mall. I counter with GHC 10, since I had just asked Ekow this question before we hung up. Grumbling, lucky driver accepts GHC 10. Good, because I’m sure there’s some other taxi driver understudy waiting in the wings.

Lucky taxi driver gets us to the mall by 10:00 a.m., so we’ve got a little time to kill before we go up to the movie theatre. Our intent is to not buy at the theatre concession stand, because just like in America, it’s a freaking rip-off. We head over to Shop Rite and buy nice cold sodas that I carry (hide) in my purse. I always travel with a pretty big bag, so at least I don’t look conspicuous.

Up we go to the theatre and pay our GHC 31 – American movie, American prices, my friends. GHC 10 for me and GHC 7 for each of the kids. No bargain matinee deal at all. We’re ready, except for one thing: Popcorn! The machine is being repaired. This is a problem. My kids enjoy the popcorn equally as much as the movie, and without it, it’s just like, well, like staying home! I’m assured by the Ghanaian manager of the concession stand that the popcorn machine will be working any minute now. Oh, boy. I don’t even want to try to interpret “any minute now” for my kids.

We head on up to our seats (popcorn-less) and find that it’s just the four of us in the whole theatre. A few minutes pass and three girls come in (and it turns out that they’re from the same school as my kids – small world, huh?!) Then an older obroni gentleman takes a seat. The 10:25 a.m. showing of Wolverine Origins had all of eight people in it.

We’re sitting there pulling out our (illicit, non-theatre-purchased) sodas when all of a sudden – LIGHTS OUT!! The theatre went pitch black. No lights on the floor to lead us out, no emergency lighting system activated, no nothing. Pitch.Black. After a few minutes, a lantern is brought in and placed on the bottom step. Yeah, that helps. Not.

Alex and I make our way down to the lobby to check on the popcorn progress. Nothing. Because the popcorn machine runs on electric and there’s LIGHTS OUT! Back up into the heat and gloom to our seats. Finally, after about ten minutes, the lights come back on, the air conditioner cranks up and the previews start to roll.

Now, if we’d been in America we would have been treated to at least half a dozen previews, and then, maybe then, the popcorn would be ready before the movie started. As it is, we get only two previews, and then the movie begins. And just as the music starts, the popcorn smell wafts up from the lobby. And the kids start the litany, “Mom, we want our popcorn.” And lucky mom gets to miss the whole first seven minutes of Wolverine's origin while buying 4 little (expensive) bags of popcorn. Oh well, I guess I’ll watch for the pirated DVD version on the streets. Heck, it’ll be cheaper than buying another movie ticket!

On second thought, Hugh Jackman on the big screen, in all his glory (and yes, it was all pretty glorious, especially the waterfall scene)… hmmm… maybe GHC 10 isn’t so much money after all. (Note to self: Next time, remember to bring binoculars for said waterfall scene.) And maybe I’ll still buy the DVD… for the kids.