And he’s outta there!

I know I had misgivings about our oldest son Sean heading off to boarding school. Truth is I chalked most of it up to a mother’s over protectiveness of her little chick. But my husband, a product of the boarding school system here in Ghana, first going off to Anum Boy’s Boarding at the age of 8, and then onto Tema Secondary School, was insistent.

I looked at all of the good I believed would come of it for Sean. He’d develop strong friendships, he’d build some character (not that he’s lacking – he is definitely a character), he’d acquire better study skills and he’d focus primarily on his education in preparation for the all-important SAT exam (next year!), and eventually college life.

Sly had told me the “horror” stories of when he was a boarder. He told us of how seniors would steal his shito out of his chop box on a regular basis, and how he finally managed to stop the theft (adding washing soap to the jar would surely do it). And of jumping over the wall to go to the store, only to come back and find F.K. Buah (the headmaster at the time) waiting on the other side with his cane. He also told us of the amazing friendships he cultivated, and which he still cherishes, and the teachers who had such a strong influence on his academics and eventual career.

Yes, we wanted that for Sean.

We were excited when he got into his first choice school, Achimota, the top public high school in the country and renowned for its alumni.

So, off we sent him to become a man. Little did we know it would end the way it did.

Our first inkling of the difficulties came when he was put in the hospital for a sore that had become abscessed and nasty. It may not have ever reached that stage had the housemaster called us as soon as it was brought to our attention. But that’s in the past, and a whole ‘nother story.

This started last week. Sean had called on Thursday and asked us to get him an exeat for Saturday, that his ear was hurting and he wanted to go to the hospital to have it looked at. He was adamant, however, that we should not say anything about his ear to the housemaster (who has control over who does or doesn’t get an exeat) but that we should say it was simply a check-up. Done.

But Sly had misgivings about the request. And on Saturday morning, en route back to the house by taxi, Sly (over the phone) pushed him for details. Turns out he hurt his ear in a fight. That’s what Sly was assuming all along.

It was my job to take Sean to the hospital and find out what happened.

Long story shortened (as much as I can shorten a story, which is to say, not much)… it involves Sean (remember, a 1^st year student) and “Happy,” a 4^th year student (I don’t know his name, but wouldn’t disclose it here anyway).

Happy had “asked” Sean to fetch some water from the well for his bath. Sean responds that he’ll go momentarily, as he was sitting on his bed clipping off a toenail that someone had managed to break when he stepped on Sean's foot -- so it was already ragged and bleeding and it needed to come off.

Sean Zigah: Strike 1.

Sean takes the bucket, but there's a line of students waiting for the well. Meanwhile, another 4^th year student with a huge water bucket asks Sean and another 1^st year to help him carry it back because it takes two strong people. Sean, seeing as how he's waiting in line anyway, agrees and helps carry it.

“Happy” (impatient) comes looking for Sean, sees him helping someone else and insults him, "stupid obroni, can't even do what I tell him to do." Sean doesn't like that kind of talk, and goes over to “Happy” and tells him so. “Happy” says (essentially) tough shit and pushes Sean and, of course, Sean pushes back. A little tussle ensues and the nearby 4^th years put a stop to it by ordering Sean to kneel down.

Sean Zigah: Strike 2.

So Sean is kneeling on the concrete pavement (and developing an amazingly ugly soon-to-be-infected gash in his leg) all the while seniors are up in his face yelling at him. Meanwhile, here comes "Happy" who walks toward Sean, who is still kneeling with his hands behind his back, and wallops him up the side of the head. Sean saw it coming and moved his head back which is maybe why his ear got it so good.

Sean Zigah: Strike 3.

Sean gets up to go after “Happy,” but two seniors are restraining him, one of which is Sean's friend who is bear-hugging him and telling him to calm down.

Expecting quite a brouhaha, the old house prefect consults with the new house prefect and advises him to tell the housemaster – because they have all met my husband and know that this will likely escalate into something big. Housemaster is told but still doesn't call us. He does tell the school headmaster, however, just in case it is escalated by Sly.

Finally, it is Thursday before Sean calls us and tells us he wants to see the doctor because his ear hurts.

I underestimated my husband in all this, and I freely admit that. He was absolutely livid. Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed his years at boarding school, but I guess that was another time, another place. There was some “bullying” and “hazing” then, but mostly it was all in fun, not to the degree that we are seeing and hearing of nowadays. No one got hurt. And Sly was different; he didn’t demand or even ask for privileges that upperclassman seem to think is their right, their entitlement.

I wonder what really goes through the minds of some 1^st years (I’ll have to ask Sean) – are they so embittered by what they endure at the hands of these small-minded bullies that they can’t wait to mete out their pent-up wrath on unsuspecting and innocent kids when their turn as an upperclassman finally arrives.

First year students are low man on the totem pole. They are at the beck and call of every upperclassman, at any time, any place. They’re fetching their bath water, washing and ironing clothes, running their errands, making their beds, giving up their food, etc.

The things I had expected Sean to get out of boarding school he didn’t get, and I’m not sure that he would have, even if he had managed to stick it out for three years.

So we advised the Housemaster and the Headmistress that Sean would be withdrawn from boarding at the school, effective this Saturday. We understand that the issue between Sean and “Happy” is being looked at by the disciplinary board. I don’t know where it will go or what will be the outcome. I would not like to see “Happy” expelled (I’m not that mean, really), he’s a 4^th year student getting ready to graduate and he’ll likely get his comeuppance as a 1^st year in college. But face it, “Happy” is just the tip of the iceberg.

Am I glad Sean’s coming home? You bet I’m glad. At home, he’ll be safe.