Shopping Ghana

The other day, Sly had to go to his office on High Street for a meeting. He suggested that we (meaning me and Alex) go along with him since he thought the meeting would only run for about an hour or so. Now I should know better, but I acquiesced. Stupid me.

His office is in the Old Parliament House, and only a few blocks from Accra Central, which is the major shopping district in Accra. It is very much like a huge flea market, with hawkers setting up their wares on the sidewalk so that pedestrians are forced to walk in the street. If you can imagine the worst vehicular traffic you've ever encountered, made up almost entirely of taxis and trotros, subtract street lights at any intersection, throw in the occasional loose goat or sheep, add a stampede of women carrying huge baskets and bowls on their head from which they sell most everything you could possibly think of, add in open gutters that you have to jump over and broken sidewalks that force you to watch your step lest you suffer a broken ankle, and then add in a rainy season heavy rain storm, well, then you've got Accra Central on a weekday. Fun, huh?

So, Alex in her rain poncho and me with my giant umbrella set off from Old Parliament House and headed over to Accra's "largest" department store - "Melcom, where shopping is so nice." They said it, I didn't.

Melcom is Ghana's (currently) oldest department store, and they have 16 branches throughout the country. They carry a lot of junk mostly, but it's cheap junk for the most part. And they've got a little bit of everything... clothes, linens, shoes, appliances, toys, toiletries, glassware, plastics, furniture, cookware, etc. I wouldn't say it's Ghana's equivalent of Walmart, it's more like a Dollar Store or a discount store in a strip mall somewhere in the American midwest. I have no idea who supplies them with some of the things they sell, it's mostly knock offs or discards, I'm assuming from some U.S. store that went into Chapter 11, but some of the things are so not appropriate for Ghana. I mean does anyone here really need a kerosene heater or snow shoes? Okay, I'm joking about those things, but not about the infant's snow suits that I saw, or the girl's winter boots.

And other things that they get in for sale, well it seems no one here knows what they really are (and that could just possibly be testament to the excesses of the American consumer), so they just call it whatever they want. I've seen toaster covers labeled a "chef's hat" and a cheese spreader with a porcelain handle shaped like an ear of corn that was labeled, "small maize knife." I don't think they are big sellers, since I see them there all the time. An Honors brand maternity romper was labeled merely as "woman's dress." And I'd like to take a moment here to digress. Who the hell thought this up? A one piece outfit that more than likely buttons up (hopefully from the front!), and from which you have to almost completely disrobe to take a pee? This for a woman with a bladder the size of a walnut that is being compressed by a baby practicing acrobatics and flips to the point that the bladder can only hold a thimble full of urine at a time. The designer of the maternity romper must have been a man. A sadistic, miserable, evil man. Mind you, I owned one, once, so I know whereof I speak.

Anyway, let me tell you about the shopping experience at Melcom. First, you select the items you want to buy, then a girl takes the item away from you in exchange for a small piece of paper on which she has written down an item number for each item. Then you go to the next aisle, which is usually another department, and if you want something, you repeat the item/paper exchange process with another clerk. And so on and so forth. Then you bring all of the little pieces of paper to the register and they ring it up, you pay your money and you are given a single receipt. DON'T LOSE IT. Then, you bring back the receipt to the girl, again in each and every department that you bought something from, and after they carefully check and mark off the items on the receipt, they return to you the items that they are holding. Then you bring your items to another counter where they check to make SURE you have ONLY what you paid for. Then you take your items and your (by then) dog-eared receipt, to the bagger, who checks your receipt and then gives you the absolutely smallest plastic bag available that will hold all of your items. Trust me, Melcom gives nothing away, not even air. And no, you're still not done. Then you bring your bag and your receipt to the security guard who examines and stamps your receipt and then you can go (finally!) merrily on your way.

The only thing Melcom has got going for it is low prices, but in that respect, you mostly get what you pay for. Almost everything I have ever bought there has broken down within days of my purchase. Now, I try only to buy snacks, cheap boxed wine or cheap sweatshop made tank tops... certainly nothing electronic and nothing needing batteries. I did buy Alex a cotton hoodie for $1.20 and bought myself two tank tops for $2.20 each. Still, I have to always ask myself, is it worth the hassle. Not really. And, in case you're wondering, "NO EXCHANGES, NO RETURNS."

From there, Alex and I wandered around Accra Central a bit, stopped to dry off a bit at a local restaurant, had a beer (me, not her) and a sausage kebab (her, not me), and made our way back to the car. And we only had to wait for 15 minutes before Sly came out of his meeting. It was rainy, and a bit chill, but Alex enjoyed the chance to play hookey with her teacher. So, all in all, though we hardly bought anything, it wasn't too terrible a day.

Today, Sean had a birthday party to attend, and Sly went off to a retreat, so, with a little extra time on my hands and not too much money, I drove over with Mike and Alex to Ghana's newest department store, Game. Just to window shop really, and check things out, I told the kids. Game is a store that originates in South Africa, and there are dozens of Game stores all over Africa. Everyone had high hopes that this would be Ghana's answer to Walmart. Well, I was never a big Walmart fan, I so much prefer Tar-JAY, but sadly, this place is not Walmart, either.

At first glance, it's promising. Big bright opening, wonderfully big shopping plastic carts to hold your purchases and your kids, a customer service counter when you enter, a dozen check out counters. The whole kit and kaboodle as my Nana (German nana, not Ghanaian nana) would say. But still not Walmart. Really, not even K-Mart.

Game has two whole aisles devoted to toys -- count 'em two. I could find more toys in a 7-11. They have half of an aisle devoted to pet supplies. Half an aisle of toiletries. Half an aisle of food items. Half an aisle of school supplies. You get the picture. Again, like Melcom, a little bit of everything. Unlike Melcom, at rich obroni prices not fixed income obroni prices.

Now, as I said, I had a little bit of time on my hands, and not too much money. Only about $10. Truthfully, there is hardly anything that can be bought at Game for less than $10. Remember Legos and their offshoot Bionicles? My kids love them. But not for $30. Or a box of 24 crayons (not even Crayola) for $4.50. A small bag of balloons for about $3.60. How about a Barbie? You all must know about Barbie. Would you spend $74 for Barbie? And I'm not talking "Limited Edition Barbie on African Safari" Barbie. I'm talking just plain ol' Barbie. $74. Reduced. I'd like to know from what.

So, with two miserable whining kids in tow, one of whom was audibly sucking up the snot dribbling from her nose after I told her "NO" for the 75th time that she could NOT have said Barbie, we checked out of the store with a single item. I know you want to know. Well, it was a nail brush that cost $1.40. Okay, okay, and two little bags of candy for .80 each.

Big Spender, I am not. Sucker, I am.