Ghanaian Must-See Television

Ghana television has come a long way since my first visit to Ghana, back in 1990. Then, there was only a single television station and it only broadcast for 3 hours, from 7:00 p.m. through 10:00 p.m. or thereabouts.

Over the years, broadcasting has grown in Ghana to the point where we now enjoy 24 hour television, and have access to BBC, CNN and recently, Aljazeera. We’ve also got a lot more channels – we’ve got GTV, TV3, Metro TV, Crystal TV, TV Africa, Net1 and Viasat 1.

It’s really wonderful (to some extent) that we can watch television sitcoms from the U.S., the U.K. or South Africa, including perennial favorites like the Cosby Show, Everyone Hates Chris, the Bernie Mack Show, Hanging with Mr. Cooper (sensing a theme again, eh?) and Friends (we are a diverse people, after all). We also get “newer” shows like CSI Miami and Las Vegas (which sadly, just ended – I so prefer Grissom to that Caine guy, ever since David Caruso dropped his drawers and bared his butt to the world on NYPD Blue I’ve disliked him – what a sorry looking ass that was! And no, I won’t post a picture. Even I’ve got my limitations. But if you’ve got a strong stomach, follow the link). The more recent forensic crime drama Bones is on every Saturday night, which my boys beg to stay up and watch (though try as I might I can’t get them interested in the Kathy Reichs books – which the television show can’t hold a candle to, in my opinion).

And, of course, we get nature shows with David Attenborough and reality television shows like American Idol (season 5 just finished out) and Sports Science (the boys LOVE this show) and historical documentaries from the U.S. about civil rights and from South Africa (Shaka Zulu).

Soap operas fit into a whole ‘nother category. We get them from all over the world – China, Japan, Mexico, South Africa, India, Nigeria – even from Ghana. And not all of them are in English, nor are they dubbed, so you better be really quick to read the captions. Oddly, even on some American or English movies they’re captioned. And let me tell you, in some cases, the captioning is absolutely hysterical. I don’t even listen to what’s being said, just because it’s too much fun watching the interpretation.

It’s also funny, and a bit odd, that a lot of the movies that are being broadcast seem to be the same ones that we’ve got in our DVD collection. The kids swear that someone is stealing our DVDs. Even our crappy movies (Popeye with Robin Williams, for instance) are being shown on Ghana television. But there are also good movies, recent releases and lots of old Hollywood favorites.

Take today, for instance. I turned on the television at about 11:45 and spotted Gene Kelly’s face staring out at me. Now I’ve been a Gene Kelly fan since way back, and there was no way I was gonna switch him off. So I waited a few seconds to try and figure out what it was – an American in Paris! I love that movie! Granted, I haven’t watched it in probably a quarter century, but really, Gene Kelly is timeless. So I hunkered down and watched only to realize that it was essentially the finale – you know the scene where Gene imagines he’s dancing through the streets of Gay Paree with Leslie Caron, even though in actuality she’s traveling with her fiancé (whom she doesn’t love) to get married. Now, I happen to know that the movie ends on a happy note, when a car horn blows and Gene comes out of his reverie to find Leslie Caron returning to him.

Sadly, the Ghanaians watching An American in Paris for the first time will never ever ever find out that this movie had a happy ending.

“Why” you ask? That’s a very good question. I wish I knew the answer. Almost without fail, the last five minutes of every single movie are cut off for a station break and then the next television program begins. Talk about frustrating! In fact, I think it’s nothing short of evil.

Perhaps the programming director doesn’t understand the importance of those last five minutes of a movie, when everything is finally made clear. When you learn who the killer was or whether the guy got the girl or the lost dog found his way home or the whale was finally freed or the little girl was adopted.

I’d like to show them how important is the final minutes with an analogy. Say the Ghana Black Stars are playing in the World Cup finals against Brazil. After the second half the score is tied 2-2. Injury time has been taken and the score remains unchanged. They go into extra time. After 30 minutes the score remains 2-2. So there’s a shoot out.

Ghana goes first… GOAL! (The Ghanaian crowd goes wild.)

Brazil goes… GOAL! (The Ghanaian crowd groans.)

Ghana takes their second kick… MISS! (The Ghanaian crowd gasps.)

Brazil takes their second… GOAL! (The Ghanaian crowd starts praying.)

Ghana takes their third shot… GOAL! (The Ghanaian crowd goes wild again.)

Brazil takes their third… GOAL! (The Ghanaian crowd goes into shock and starts praying anew.)

Ghana takes their fourth shot… ♪♫♪ Drink delicious and nutritious Healthilife, Healthilife Grow! ♪♫♪ Tom and Jerry theme music begins to play. ♪♫♪ (The Ghanaian crowd gets ready to stage a coup.)

Five minutes. That’s all I ask.

President Obama:Thank you for an amazing 10 seconds

By now, the President and Mrs. Obama and children are nestled, all snug in their beds, with visions of dancing Ghanaians in their heads. What a whirlwind! Twenty-four hours in Ghana and I’m amazed at the Obama family’s energy. I’m exhausted just watching them.

And watch them we did. Yesterday morning, we left Tema for Osu at 6:30 a.m. to get the bird’s eye view of the presidential motorcade. Even at that early hour, the police presence along the route that the president was expected to take was serious. It seemed every few feet you’d see another stern-faced cop. It was rumored that more than 10,000 police would be available for this event. I think they were all in Accra. This picture with 5 Ghanaian police officers was taken before 9:00 a.m. but the number of police grew as it got later.

I had expected that we would have a front row seat and I was wrong. The U-turn that takes the president to La General Hospital (formerly La Polyclinic, but upgraded to hospital status over the past few years) is not beyond our Osu family house. There’s another U-turn first! I forgot completely (since we always take the second U-turn to get to the family house). Oh well, it’s only a 100 feet or so.

But that’s a problem for the old lady, aka Zerb, aka Sly’s 89-year old mother. Sly did his best convincing that she should come and watch history in the making. She hasn’t been out of her house in decades I think (only kidding, she comes out every few months or so for church and every few weeks ago for doctors appointments) so she took a lot of convincing. But finally, with the decision made for Sly to drive the first 50 feet, and Sly's sister Paulina to help her along the other 50 feet, here came Zerb.

Zerb, Paulina and Alex

We had already talked to the police officers (that's Officer Oppong above) along the route where we intended to stay and told them we’d be bringing grandma to watch, and they were very sweet to suggest a place to park her, and shooing others out of her way when they blocked her view.

But we weren’t privy to exactly when the president would be coming, so we moved into position at 9:15 and waited. The crowd was non-existent when we first walked over, but grew in dribs and drabs. Perfect chance for a family photo.

Me, Paulina, Alex, Sly, Mike and Sean with Zerb seated

People were wearing Obama tee shirts (some of which were really stretched to the limit), or wearing special Obama cloth made into kaba and slit or simply carrying American and Ghanaian flags.

Ghanaian with an Obama shirt (stretched to the max)

Finally, the hawkers were around selling their Obama-wear souvenirs; I convinced Sly (not too hard, the wallet was freely opening) to buy handkerchiefs with both presidents printed on it. The ladies (except for me), all used it as do-rags, and the boys all used it bandito-style.

Do-ragged Alex, Zerb, Paulina and Comfort

Banditos Sly, Mike and Sean

At around 10:00 a.m. the activity picked up, we heard cannon fire in the distance – it was a salute for President Obama at the Osu Castle, about a mile away. Then Black Hawk helicopters began circling the area, with a strategically placed watchers (dare I say it, gulp, snipers?) in the open door. Then secret service-driven vehicles with sniffer dogs arrived and the agents let the dog out for a quick sniff (pee?) and they were back on their way. We were situated right at the point where the Beast would be U-turning, so it would have to slow down a lot. Maybe that’s why the dog came out. No problem, it was only seconds before the dog was back in the end, and my dim-witted fingers weren’t quick enough to take a shot of the German Shepherd before he was back in the van; all I got was the tail end (literally and figuratively).

Black hawk helicopter (with sniper?)

Tail end of Secret Service dog

The crowds continued to thicken, and more and more hawkers came by with their wares, generally food or Obama-related. We bought American flags for the kids to wave (made in China, by the way) at 1 GHC each, as well as a bunch of bananas and some ice cream.

Obama shirts for sale, coming and going

Banana picking

One Cedi each!

Alex made up a sign on the back of a piece of paper that said BARACK OBAMA, WELCOME TO GHANA in washable marker. And grandma got into the flag waving act.

Welcoming sign

Patriotic Grandma

Finally, a Ghanaian police officer in a Jeep drove by and signaled that the motorcade would be coming momentarily. Then another came by and yelled at our police officers to push us out of the way that we were too close to the U-turn. Hell, we’d been here for 2 hours and I was not giving up this space easily. I saw the owner of the property behind us (certainly a Bangladeshi if I ever saw one), and asked him if we could stand in his easement to avoid eviction. No problem. He was as excited as us. But not necessary, because the motorcade was coming and there was no time for movement of any kind. My fingers were ready to shoot. Sean had the other camera set in video mode and we were both anxious to go.

First the Ghanaian motorcycle escorts with their sirens blaring, then a Ghanaian police patrol, then a limo with Secret Service, and then, at long last, the Beast!! It was slowing down right in front of us. And there he was! President Obama was waving at us and smiling through the tinted windows (which, alas, you can’t see from the pictures – but believe me, he was there. He was there!). People were shouting and screaming and waving their flags.

Ghanaian motorcycle escorts

Ghana police patrol followed by Secret Service car

The Beast (get out of the way, lady!)

It was the most awesome 10 seconds I’ve spent in a long time. It was sooooo cool.

And then he was gone.

But man, while he was here, was it ever neat?

The President of the United States... Now and Later!

In a few hours time, Air Force One will touch down at Kotoka International Airport and President and Mrs. Obama and the Obama children will walk down the steps into the history books. I know, I know… what’s the big deal? We’ve already had two American presidents here before. Both Clinton and Bush made forays into Ghana during their respective terms of office. But this visit by an American president is different. Because this is one my American-born children can relate to, in more ways than one.

We would love for our children to get a glimpse of history in the making, and we are going to try our darnedest to be somewhere close to where the President will be while he is in Ghana. We have learned that he will be paying a visit to La General Hospital in Accra, a few blocks away from the Zigah family residence in South Labadi Estates in Osu. The family home is situated directly on the main road, so you can bet your bottom U.S. Dollar (or Ghana Cedi, for that matter) that we will be outside of that house waiting for the Beast to roll by. Even if it means that we have to wake up before God to get there (and before the roads are closed, of course).

We will wave and yell and cheer when the presidential motorcade passes, and hope that he may notice out his window the three children who are “different” than the rest of the people surrounding them (but certainly, not different from President Obama). Let me tell you something: One of those children is destined for the White House. I can feel it. Remember the picture of a young Bill Clinton shaking the hands of President John F. Kennedy? What were the odds? Well, this will be that kind of photo opportunity, so if you’re anywhere nearby Osu, have your camera handy.

Sean C.K. Zigah, U.S. President-elect, 2032

Michael P.K. Zigah, U.S. President-elect, 2036

Alexandra G.A. Zigah, U.S. President-elect, 2040
(she can actually run in 2036, but let's give Michael a shot, eh?)

All this, of course, is provided that we can even get to Osu. You see, Ghana is still Ghana. The visit by POTUS is not going to change that. We’re still going to have all of the problems that face a developing country – crumbling infrastructure, corruption, illiteracy, child abuse, health-care issues, etc., etc. Today, the problem – at least as it applies to us – is a fuel shortage. There is absolutely no gas (petrol, they call it here) to be had, anywhere in Tema or Accra. I can’t even back my car out of the gate to hang my laundry much less drive the van into Osu.

So, there may very well be no opportunity for our children to see history in the making. At least, not in person. Thank God for television and the internet. Of course, that only works if there’s electricity coursing through the lines. Lights off, anyone?

Somewhere, not far from here

Yesterday, I was tagged by a friend on Facebook to read an article in the Daily Guide, one of Ghana’s newspapers. The article reports the death of an 8-year old girl who died, allegedly, from a caning she received from her teacher for doing poorly in a mental exercise.

I am at once saddened and angered that these kinds of things still continue to happen here in Ghana. I just did a google search and was horrified to learn that the Ghana Education Service has never “officially” banned caning in schools. Headmasters are allowed to use their discretion to administer 6 lashes of the cane.

My children, all of whom attend a quasi-private school here in Tema, have a fear of the lash or the cane or the “black beauty” as one teacher quaintly referred to a hard lengthy piece of black rubber. Sean has been caned, and I came to know of it after the fact, when he reported that the headmistress of the school (his previous one in Accra) caned him and another student for playing football on the balcony. He told me that he protected himself by wearing “armor” beneath his school shorts, i.e. several pairs of underpants and boxer shorts. Funny, right? Not at all.

One of the questions we always ask when we apply to a school is about their position on caning and corporal punishment. Invariably, they all deny that they use it as a means of discipline. Granted, my children have not been “caned” at SOS. They have, however, been subjected to various other forms of punishment including being made to kneel down on gravel with their arms upheld over their heads for an undetermined length of time, having to clean the (absolutely disgusting) bathrooms or the gutters or having to march in the hot equatorial sun.

Gee, I know it was a long time ago that I was in public school – 1966 through 1979 – but I can’t recall ever being punished in any manner such as these. Yes, I had to stand in the corner or wear a piece of gum on my nose or write lines over and over again. I was no angel – a goody-two-shoes, perhaps – but certainly not an angel. Nonetheless, no teacher ever laid a hand on me, or forced me to do manual labor (other than cleaning a blackboard, of course).

Caning a child because she was doing poorly in her dictation and mental… I still can’t believe that. What if she wasn’t feeling well? Perhaps she was malarial, or had slept poorly the night before, or hadn’t eaten and was merely hungry and distracted? Or what if – shocker – she was just not a good student?

Herein lies the crux of the whole caning issue. The continuing misguided belief of ignorant people that discipline and punishment is the only way to ensure that a child excels in school. Nothing about reward or encouragement or nurturing or empowerment. Nothing about doing your personal best. It’s all about being “the” best. Being number one.

News flash! We.Can’t.All.Be.Number.One.

I will probably anger a lot of Ghanaian parents because, if they went through the school system here, it may be what they continue to believe. They all feel that they lived through it (relatively unscathed), and so should their children. Heck, my husband still believes it, and it is probably the primary cause of stress in our marriage.

Not that long ago, Mrs. Anna Bossman, the Acting Commissioner of CHRAJ (Commission on Human Rights and Administrative Justice) visited a public school to talk to children about child abuse. I am sure that this case will be brought to her attention and, knowing her as I do, that she will take a firm stand and bring this matter to resolution. Let’s hope the Ghana Education Service does, too.

Of course, there will be no resolution for a mother and father who are today making plans to bury their child. There may be closure, but that’s little comfort.

Somewhere, not far from here, a mother is crying. She shouldn’t have to be.